Bakura and the toilet
by murai-sakura
Summary: Bakura is having trouble with today's modern little things. Why won't he use the toilet? (ONE-SHOT)
1. Default Chapter

This is gonna be my first funny bakura fic. I read a lot of those and I think they are really funny. Beacous of that (and becaus most people are starting to get annoyed from my drama-fics) I'm writing one right now, myself. I hope you like it...  
  
Bakura: So now you'r gonna hurt me right?  
  
Ryou: Finally someone els!  
  
F: Don't cheer too soon Ryou, Bakura might still break something, who nows?  
  
Ryou: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Bakura: yeah, boom baby!  
  
F: Come on guys, let's start the story. Ryou, will you do the disclaimer?  
  
Ryou: Murai-sakura doesn't own yu-gi-oh and I thank Ra for that.  
  
F: -_-  
  
(thoughts)  
  
Bakura and the toilet  
  
Bakura's p.o.v.  
  
This is all getting pretty annoying, I don't think Ryou likes me at all and I haven't done anything wrong... I only tried a few times to rule the world, only a few times... Who will remember that? If it wasn't for that tri-colored excuse for a pharaoh and his tiny, little pet-slave, it would have worked...  
  
Ryou!!! Ryou!!!! RYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!  
  
Ryou: What?!?  
  
Bakura: (Sjeesj, He's still mad at me for eating the cat.)  
  
I never really understood my hikari. He always cooks the things he eat and he doesn't even kills it himself. I like steaks, raw is my favorite and I would like to kill the cow all by myself, but what is a cow?  
  
I start thinking what a cow is when Ryou suddenly appears right in front of my nose.  
  
Ryou: Oh sweet little Yami...  
  
Bakura: Yes my hikari? (I guess he forgave me for putting on fireworks in the living room)  
  
Ryou: YOU PITTY EXCUSE FOR A THIEF!!!  
  
Bakura (Uh oh, guess not)  
  
Ryou: YOU ACTUALLY PISSED ON THE FLOOR!!!  
  
Bakura: That was the cat  
  
Ryou: YOU ATE THE CAT!!!  
  
Bakura: So, now he can't pis on the floor any longer.  
  
Ryou: YOU ATE HIM TWO MONTHS AGO!!!  
  
Bakura: Sjeesj, Ryou, you should clean up the house more often.  
  
I tried to smile with the smiles Ryou always smiles, but he didn't fell for it, maybe because at the same time i was laughing evilly.  
  
Ryou: "sigh" Oh Bakura, why won't you use the toilet?  
  
As soon as I heared about the horribel creature in the bathroom, I hid behind the couch.  
  
Bakura: It tried to eat me!!!  
  
I started to cry, my tears weren't real and Ryou didn't fell for that either, maybe that was because I was spraying in my eyes with Ryou's favorite deodarant. Mmmmm, roses...  
  
Ryou: Oh please Bakura, what made you think that? Just go to the toilet allready.  
  
I saw an angry look in Ryou's eyes. He's trying to kill me, I know he is. For sure, he'll murder me in my sleep, he's the evil one!!! I tried to answer as normal as possible.  
  
Bakura: The toilet tries to drown you, why would all that water be there if it wasn't? And if you sit on it really long, the toilet doesn't wanna let you go anymore and you stay stuck to the toilet seet. And it really hurts to get of it if you'r stuck.  
  
Ryou "sigh" Just stand op straight then Bakura.  
  
I saw Ryou leave the room, he looked like something was bottering him. I wonder wat had gone up his nerves? Oh, well, I'll do what Ryou toled me and I'll just stand up.  
  
The next day  
  
I'm lying in my bed. It's so warm here, I know I'm awake but I'm to drowsy to get out of bed. I think I'll just stay here for a couple of hours.  
  
Ryou: Bakura!!!  
  
I heard Ryou yell and I thought he was attacked by the toilet so I jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom. Ryou was there, he looked really pissed of, I wonder what was wrong.  
  
Bakura: Good morning Ryou!  
  
Ryou: What did you do?  
  
I heard Ryou say that while his voice was trembling. His shaking hand was pointing at a brown thing on the ground. And the toilet was full of toiletpaper.  
  
Bakura: I really don't understand the problem hikari.  
  
I really didn't but I guess Ryou didn't believe me this time either. Oh well, it could be worse. He was more mad at me when I was chasing those stupid kids with the chainsaw I found in the basement.  
  
Ryou: What is that?  
  
I noticed how Ryou's voice was still trembling as he was still pointing to the smelly brown thing on the floor.  
  
Bakura: You know Ryou, that's not gonna get cleaned up by just pointing at it.  
  
I don't know why but when I said that, Ryou exploded. He grabbed me by my hair and put my face almost into the smelly brown thing on the floor.  
  
Ryou: WHAT IS THIS?!?  
  
Bakura: My shit offcours.  
  
Was my hikari so stupid or was he pretending to be?  
  
Ryou: Indeed, it's your shit so you'll have to clean it up.  
  
I opened my mouth to object but when I saw Ryou's face as red as a tomato, I quikly started with the cleaning. Ryou just left and went to sit in his seat, the lazy bum...  
  
2 hours later  
  
Bam, Bam, Bam...  
  
Ryou came in when he heard the banging that was caused by me.  
  
Bakura: Ryou, I'm all done.  
  
I saw my hikari explode. I didn't understand. All I did was destroying the toilet so it wouldn't eat my hikari. Proudly I stood next to the ruïned toilet, soaked becaus of the (brown) water, but proud. I don't know why, but at that moment, Ryou just fainted.  
  
A.n: I hope you all liked it, I know I did writing it.  
  
Ryou: Noooooooooooooooo, my toilet!!!  
  
Bakura: Not my fault, I'm just a puppet in murai-sakura's hands (evil grin)  
  
Ryou: My toilet, my precious toilet!!!  
  
F: Come on Ryou, look at it from the bright side, I didn't kill you this time.  
  
Bakura: Next time, better I guess  
  
Ryou: "sob"  
  
You don't have to review if you don't wanna but I would really like it if you would. Thanks for reading my storie. 


	2. AUTOR NOTES

AUTOR'S NOTES :  
  
I know, this was a bit....overdone, right ? It could've been a bit less since this isn't really the most sane thing someone could write....I hope you laughed with it though since that's my goal with this fic.  
  
Let's answer the reviews shall we?  
  
Crystal-phoenix: ah, a fellow phoenix! I'm the silverwinged phoenix! Woot! Ya liked it? Cool!  
  
Clyde007: I made more, lots more   
  
Ne-buddy: haha! Strange looks you say? Let them look! As long as you don't get kicked out, right?  
  
Ryou-lover-2: teehee, she orders you around? What a brat!  
  
TaleneIsMyYami: "waves" Hi Talene and her hikari off cours. Yeah, we can't all like it right?  
  
Pavchka: and here we have our pavchka again. Yeah well i had to find out something right? I couldn't make him peel an union since it makes you incapable of seeing anything.  
  
ChunkyLover11/23: wow, really? I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Curse of roel dragon: oO don't overreact!  
  
Tokubi: o....k, thanks   
  
Reya Grey Wolf: there's no next chappie....are you hiding something from me?  
  
Anime-crazy2: thanks, I can be lazy too ya know 


End file.
